


It's not always like this

by Finerafin



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:34:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21621571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finerafin/pseuds/Finerafin
Summary: Kimball gets a very unusual gift and she'snothappy about it.
Kudos: 15





	It's not always like this

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in an attempt to do fictober (I manged like, three prompts?) But it was too good not to post it  
> As always English is not my first language, so if you find any mistakes feel free to tell me.

"It's not always like this," said Wash, standing in front of Kimball and blocking the entrance to the training room. He was also trying to block her view but that was in vain, the door was just too big and he would be surprised if she hadn’t already figured out what was going on.  
"Okay," said Kimball, standing very still, holding direct eye-contact with Wash. It made him squirm.

"They are usually better behaved," said Wash, but it obviously was a lie.  
"Okay," said Kimball, again, and again in the same calm voice and without showing any emotion.

"I'm sure they have an explanation for this," said Wash, an exasperated edge in his voice.  
"Oka-"

"Can you stop saying okay like this!" Wash yelled and then hurriedly proceeded to apologize. "Oh god, sorry, it's just really stressful with them sometimes and that Carolina joined them is _not_ helping and anyways this was supposed to be a surprise party for you but they are so unorganized and now Sarge got tangled in the paper streamers and Donut baked a cake but Caboose ate all the frosting and they thought of a present for you and I _have no idea how they did it_ and I’m not sure if I want to know and frankly I don't know how they even got that idea-" Wash had to stop to take a breather and before he could continue, Kimball raised an eyebrow and said: "Okay."

They stared at each other in silence.

"So are you gonna explained why there is Locus tied up in my bedroom or."  
"I just did!" Wash threw his hands in the air. “Didn't you listen?!”  
"I didn't understand a single word,” Kimball stated, as calm as she had been the whole time. That was worrying, maybe they should notify Grey … wait, Kimball was still waiting for an answer, he could think of this later. god, he needed a break and some coffee - someone cleared their throat. Oh, right, Kimball. Wash took a deep breath, then continued.

"Oh good, so then you don't know about the surprise party-"

"I have no idea how you survived this long but you're terrible liar, Wash," Tucker screamed, interrupting the former Freelancer, and threw a plastic cup at him that missed by a few feet. Yeah, they had been drinking too ...

Kimball sighed inwardly. It was about time they finished building the bases on Iris - the Reds and Blues had done so much for Chorus but having them and the chaos they caused here permanently was just too much for her. Kimball sighed again and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“I thought this was supposed to make General-President Kimball happy and less stressed,” Caboose stage-whispered.  
“Yes,” Tucker said.  
“She does look very stressed though.”  
“ _I know._ ”  
“You look stressed too.”  
“I’m going to hit you with a cardboard tube.”  
“That would be fun! It’s like a piñata! Oh, can we have a piñata?!”  
“No, Caboose, we cannot have a piñata,” Wash said sternly. “We don’t want to set the whole place on fire.”  
“Well, how were we supposed to know that piñatas don’t explode!” Sarge yelled from his spot on the floor.  
“Because they don’t!” Wash yelled back.  
“How about … a mercenary piñata,” Tucker suddenly suggested with a mean grin. “We already have him tied up we just need-“  
“No,” Kimball interrupted him. “No piñatas, no mercenary piñatas - how the hell did you even manage that - and _no_ birthday parties!”  
“Awww,” the Reds and Blues said in unison and Kimball had to look away from Caboose’s sad puppy eyes or she would have given in.

“So, back to the mercenary in my room-“ Kimball said after a beat of silence, and to distract from the pouts.  
“He’s your birthday present!” Sarge exclaimed. “We thought you’d like it!”  
“He even comes with a bow on his head!” Donut said cheerily and bounced a bit.  
“Yeah, Donut put it there,” Grif muttered.  
“But _how_.” Now, Kimball just sounded desperate for an answer.  
“We’re just that good!” Tucker boasted and struck a hero pose.  
“Well, actually we found him hiding in the decoration closet where he got tangled in the paper streamers,” Simmons muttered and hid behind Grif when Tucker shot him a glare.  
“And then you decided to _put him in my fucking room_ and not in, like, an actual prison?” Kimball asked, her annoyance clearly showing.

“Do you _have_ a prison?” Grif asked in return and that made Kimball freeze. “Because we would have done that.”  
“But between the crates,” Simmons said.  
“The warthogs,” Tucker continued.  
“The spaceships,” Carolina said.  
“My super-secret lab,” Sarge added.  
“Our break room,” Caboose said.  
“And Grey’s hospital expansion,” Donut said.  
“We really didn't know where to put him,” Wash finished.

They watch Kimball stand there for a moment, unmoving, and then they watched her turn around and calmly walk away and then they looked at each other when Kimball said: “I’m gonna take a nap. I do not want to be disturbed.”

“Sooo,” Tucker asked after Kimball had rounded the corner. “Who wants cake? Since we won’t need it anymore.”

Everyone muttered in agreement and filtered out of the room, leaving the mess they had made behind. And if they later heard Kimball scream when she saw the state the training room was in, they pretended they didn't hear it and made sure to avoid her for the rest of the week.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on tumblr, I'm [finerafin](https://finerafin.tumblr.com/)  
> Do not repost this work anywhere.


End file.
